your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
