we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
