Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
