just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
