Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
