My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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