I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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