the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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