Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
