Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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