i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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