I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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