It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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