Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
