Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
