well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
