i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
