this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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