I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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