I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize