so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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