Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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