Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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