So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
do herpes really smell.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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