i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
