dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
