I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
