But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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