He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
