Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
