Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's always time for handjobs
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
