i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Your penis caused this!
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