my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
