I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
