I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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