Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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