She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
