When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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