Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Someone signed my nipple.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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