I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
