So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
