We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
