quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
