Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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