she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
