dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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