it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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