i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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