I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
