Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
