It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
