i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
