she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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