i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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