Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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