I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize