I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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