He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
