I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
