Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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